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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094126">antukin (drabbles and prompts)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tennis RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, each chapter will be tagged, ratings per chapter may differ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:56:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fedal one-shots/drabbles/prompt fills in one collection. Tags and prompts inside each chapter.</p><p>Chapter 4: Roger realizes something before his wedding</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. stay still</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it took me long enough to realize i can make a compilation of drabbles instead of posting each one of it separately. oops</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>rating: explicit<br/>tags: light bdsm, rimming, and body worship</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He thinks there are people<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>so many people<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>who would pay millions to see this. </p><p>Rafael Nadal, naked and bound to the bed, eyes manic and bright. </p><p>Roger's lips curve into a smile that is smug and filthy and sweet, and Rafa groans behind his gag, a noise so delicious it makes Roger move, draws him up until he's straddling Rafa, knees on either side of his hips, cock pressed into the hard plane of his abdomen as Roger leans down, presses a wet kiss to his throat, bites his way up to catch Rafa's earlobe between his teeth. </p><p>Being with Rafa is always good, blindingly perfect. Roger <em> adores </em> the way his boyfriend can make him feel, the way he gives his everything to consistently blow Roger’s mind, and the fact that<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>he knows Rafa loves him. </p><p>It’s not a fleeting affair, this thing between them, or one of the one-night stands after making out in the locker room. </p><p>Rafa <em> loves </em>Roger. </p><p>Roger thinks, sometimes, when Rafa wraps around him in their bed, that he made the right choice in choosing Rafa, that he doesn’t regret anything he has done that brought them to where they are right now. He knows Rafa would have done the same thing too. </p><p>Rafa loves Roger. Madly, desperately, dangerously. </p><p>And he trusts him. </p><p>Roger kisses him chastely once, and then whispers, “I want you to stay still, alright, <em>liebchen</em>?” </p><p>Rafa blinks at him, wild-eyed and wanting, and Roger smiles. </p><p>And then slides down, shoves Rafa’s legs apart and licks over his hole. </p><p>Behind his gag, Rafa <em> screams. </em></p><p>They don’t do this often<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>Rafa gets impatient, or Roger does<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>but sometimes, he sees the way Rafa gets twitchy or withdrawn, his mind racing too fast, and he drags the man into bed. </p><p>Trial and error quickly taught him that eating Rafa out was the fastest way to get him out of his head, and that tying him down was the only way Roger could get him to stay <em> still </em> long enough to <em> let </em>Roger eat him out. </p><p>The fact that Roger <em> loves </em> it, the whimpers and whines, the way Rafa’s hips twitch and shudder until he puts a hand on his hip, and <em> holds </em> him down, and god, the <em> taste, </em>the way he’s tight and hot and musky, tasting of soap and just a hint of sweat. </p><p>He fucking <em> loved it.  </em></p><p>What he loved most though was the way Rafa would get desperate, his voice going high and breathless, the way his cock dribbled precome, the way he twitched and flexed against Roger’s lips and tongue, the way he <em> screamed </em> when Rafa finally, <em> finally </em>came. </p><p>It takes a while, but it’s worth it, worth the dazed, empty gaze and the hungry kiss, when Roger scrambles up and yanks the gag aside, when he ruts against Rafa’s come slick chest and Rafa eats up his moans and cries, and whispers, “Come for me, <em>baby</em>. Please, make a mess, god you’re so pretty all dirty<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>” </p><p>And Roger does, comes across Rafa’s sticky chest, shudders out his orgasm and collapses there. </p><p>He fumbles to free Rafa, and hums happily, when Rafa wraps him in his arms, and kisses him, sweet and hungry, and the manic brightness in those beautiful eyes burns low and forgotten. </p><p>The whole world might pay to see it<span class="ILfuVd"><span class="e24Kjd">—</span></span>but this side of Rafa is <em> his</em>. He snuggles closer and holds on tight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. baking disaster: rafael nadal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kelvin asked: can you write something based on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-7cg0koLUD/">bizcocho rafa?</a><br/>-<br/>rating: gen<br/>tags: disgustingly sweet fluff, baking disaster rafa</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The normally clean and white-marbled kitchen counter was covered in flour, sugar, milk, eggs, and <em> oh god is that flour on the ceiling? </em></p><p>Rafa giggled, proudly presenting the cake in front of him.</p><p>There was a warm glow in Roger’s chest that only he felt when he was around Rafa.</p><p>"Well, I see you've been busy," Roger looked around before settling on Rafa. He walked towards the flour-dusted Spaniard and dusted some of the flour off his hair.</p><p>Rafa shook his head in embarrassment, "Well, Mama was supposed to help me bake cake, but she left!” Rafa looked at the chocolate cake sitting atop on a baking cooling rack before looking at Roger. “Do you like it?"</p><p>"Do I like it?" Roger scoffed through huffed laughter, "Rafa, baby, I love it."</p><p>Rafa’s eyes widened with a giddy grin: "I knew you love it! I made it chocolate too, no? I just knew it!"</p><p>Roger walked over to the chocolate cake, scooping a bit of the icing off and licked it off his finger.</p><p>"Rogi," Rafa furrowed his brows in disgust, "that's gross."</p><p>Roger smiled, "It's my cake."</p><p>"Uh, no," Rafa’s left eyebrow shot up, "it is <em> our </em> cake and the last thing I need right now, Roger Federer, is your germs."</p><p>Roger looked at Rafa. Both of their eyes were filled with sweet fondness.</p><p>Roger scooped more icing on his finger, dotting it on Rafa’s nose before the younger man could react.</p><p>Rafa gasped. He crossed his eyes, looking at the icing on his nose. He giggled hard and snorted following the end of his laugh.</p><p>Rafa looked at Roger, wiping his nose clean of icing. </p><p>He shook his head, "I bake you cake—blood, sweat, and tears went into it, Maribel even <em>insult</em> me for almost blowing up the hand mixer!—and this is how you repay me?"</p><p>Roger smiled, and for once, he couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be.</p><p>—</p><p>Later on, Rafa would send Maribel a quick text saying <em> he loves it, you’re just mean. </em> And Maribel would reply <em> don’t get too cocky, he’s too in love with you to care. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm aware rafa baked a spanish bizcocho, but i needed some icing, hence the chocolate</p><p>let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. you’re the best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had this strong urge to write something after what toni said in an interview.<br/>tags: comfort, fluff</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafa was sitting on the feet of their shared bed, crying, with Roger rubbing circles onto his back. </p><p> </p><p>Rafa was clinging to the elder man like he was a lifeline. Tears were streaming down Rafa’s flushed cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>“I keep trying and trying hard, no? But nothing turns out right. Whatever I try to do, people will always find ways to make me feel bad.” Rafa smiled grimly to himself, tears staining Roger’s shirt. Neither of them minded at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think that’s true,” Roger said, voice soft, “I think you’re the most brilliant person I’ve ever met.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Rafa asked, voice shaky.</p><p> </p><p>Roger smiled, “Of course, Raf, you’re an amazing player. Hell, you’re one of the best on tour.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re saying that to make me stop crying,” Rafa said, a small smile creeping onto his face. He pulled away from Roger. Rafa averted his gaze, trying not to notice Roger’s gentle gaze </p><p> </p><p>“Of course it is. I mean, you’ve beaten me numerous times,” Roger said, “We’ve had a couple of epic matches, you know? And it’s because you play such amazing tennis.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafa smiled, snuggling back into Roger’s warm embrace. Tiredness landed on Rafa like a ton of bricks, he had spent a long day being sad. Exhaustion washed over his features. Roger’s words melted away, as the man’s skilled fingers combed through Rafa’s hair. Rafa practically purred, eyes closing in contentment.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s put you to bed, <em> liebchen,</em>” Roger said, a fond smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Rafa moaned, sleepy and content in Roger’s warm hold. He snuggled closer to the man, silently protesting being put down into the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Rafa murmured, “Sleep with me, please?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Roger whispered, laying next to Rafa. They were facing each other in the bed, the darkness making their vision hazy.</p><p> </p><p>Rafa cuddled closer to Roger, soft voice whispering, “Good night, Roger.”</p><p> </p><p>Roger pressed a soft kiss to Rafa’s forehead, “Good night, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>And together, they drifted away into a soft slumber.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>raf’s literally baeby who needs to be protected at all costs</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. run away with me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://rafealnadal.tumblr.com/post/618667668596244480/hi-same-anon-as-before-can-i-ask-for-endgame">anon asked:</a> can I ask for endgame Fedal where Roger is about to get married to Mirka but ends up with Rafa anyway?<br/>tags: alternate universe, very very minor roger/mirka + what the prompt says</p><p>set in 2009, this is a work of fiction and this never happened. i took <i>a lot</i> of creative liberties here (like rafa being invited to roger's wedding, hence rafa being in the same place as roger), so just roll with it 🤣</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Roger proposed to Mirka, he had been so sure he loved her. He had been certain she was the one for him, but after last year’s Wimbledon and a lot of self-reflection, he’s doubting himself. </p><p>It’s the night before the wedding, Roger should be excited and happy, but he <em> isn’t </em> . He’s almost dreading the thought of marriage now. There’s a weight in Roger’s chest pulling him down, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He wants to love Mirka, but he <em> can’t </em>. Roger loves Rafa. He’s always loved the man, but it’s grown out of control, it’s become untamed. Roger—for the life of him—can’t get Rafa off of his mind. It’s driving him mad.</p><p> </p><p>Mirka is out with her friends. Roger is home alone, he can’t tell whether that’s a blessing or a curse. </p><p> </p><p>The silence haunts him, there’s not a moment where Roger’s brain isn’t reminding him of the shameful fact that he <em> doesn’t </em>love Mirka anymore. It’s an acidic, venomous self-loathing that Roger wants to take away. It settles deep in the pit of his stomach, hissing at him to do something other than throw a pity party and cement his life with a person he doesn’t love anymore.</p><p>Roger stares at his reflection. The person he’s looking at doesn’t feel like him anymore. It’s like he’s staring into the eyes of a stranger. He sighs, turning away from the mirror.</p><p>Roger looks out of the window into the night, the street is wet from the rain, water reflects light from the streetlamp. There’s a bittersweet longing in the air. It’s crisp and clear, it gives him a hazy sense of longing for a life he could never have. It reminds him of what he does have, how lucky he is, and how ungrateful he’s being. It reminds him that he’ll never be content with the life he’s been given. That he’ll always be searching for more until he gets what longs for.</p><p>Roger inhales deeply, trying to calm his stormy emotions.</p><p>He knows, deep down in his soul, that he’ll never be fully happy with Mirka, that she’ll never complete him. Roger hates himself for it. Hates himself for letting her down. He’s let a lot of people down lately.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a dull ache in Roger’s chest, a longing for something he knows he can’t have. A longing so visceral and present it scares him in its intensity. He knows it isn’t right, that it isn’t fair to Mirka. She deserves better, she deserves the world—he had told her that once upon a time, when his feelings weren’t so complex, and when her smile didn’t feel like a maze to navigate.</p><p>Roger’s mind wanders. He imagines a world where he and Rafa are together, living together in Mallorca and waking up looking at Rafa’s body bathed in the morning sunlight. A world where Roger’s life isn’t underlined with a sense of somberness, restlessness, constantly running away from, and yet chasing, the one thing he’s ever wanted.</p><p>He’s picking up the phone before his mind can protest. He’s dialing the number on autopilot.</p><p>“Roger?” Rafa’s warm voice carries through the phone.</p><p>Roger says, “Hey, can you come over? I’m kinda freaking out about some things.”</p><p>“Alright,” Rafa replies, “I be there soon.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Roger says, suppressing a sob.</p><p> </p><p>Roger feels dull nausea bubbling up in his stomach. His heart beats loudly in his chest, the noise echoing in his eardrums. There’s a sharp sting of hatred, he shouldn’t be looking for support when he’s going to abandon his fiance. And he <em> definitely </em>shouldn’t be getting support from the man who his heart longs for.</p><p>It feels like an instant and an eternity before Rafa’s sharp, two-pronged knock hits the dark oak door.</p><p>Roger opens the door, tears forming in his eyes immediately. He can’t help the way Rafa’s gaze breaks him, like every emotion Roger’s ever had is suddenly on display for the Spaniard. Roger’s always trusted Rafa with his life, and the other man never failed him. It made it easy for Roger to fall into Rafa’s arms, to sink into the man’s tender embrace.</p><p>Rafa wraps his arms around Roger, soft voice cooing: “Hey, is okay, you’re going to be okay, no? What’s wrong? I’ll help you, I promise.”</p><p><em> I’ll help you, I promise</em>.</p><p>Roger’s heart stutters in his chest, his sobs grow more pained. He looks up at Rafa, wide eyes pooling with despair. Rafa smiles encouragingly, nodding for Roger to talk.</p><p>“I’m terrible,” Roger whispers in Rafa’s hold.</p><p>Rafa shakes his head, “No you’re not, Roger, you’re the best person I ever met.”</p><p>“No,” Roger sobs, voice broken, “you don’t understand, Rafa, I’m <em> terrible</em>. I’m doing something awful.”</p><p>Rafa pulls back a little, “What you talking about?”</p><p>“I don’t love Mirka anymore,” Roger says. His voice is resigned and solemn. Roger’s eyes are a pool of shame and guilt and regret. The tears slow to a stop, but his eyes are still wet. </p><p>Rafa’s face flicks through several emotions, clearly conflicted about this sudden declaration. His eyes move around like he does when he’s in the court analyzing his opponent. He probably is, Rafa tries to analyze Roger’s mind.</p><p> </p><p>The thought feels Roger with an icy sense of love and dread. They mix together into a lethal cocktail that makes Roger’s heart jackhammer in his chest. A sudden wave of lightheadedness nearly knocks Roger to his feet.</p><p>Rafa catches him, sitting him down on a chair.</p><p>“Maybe,” Rafa says, “you just getting…what do call it? Cold feet? This is normal, I think… I never been married so I don’t have lot of experience, but I know that you look at her like she’s your world. And you care about her, <em> sí </em>? This feeling you have maybe is just nervousness.”</p><p>Roger shakes his head, “No, Rafa, it’s been like this for a while. I know the initial spark and glow of a relationship wears off, but this… This is <em> different </em> . Being around her is like a <em> job </em> to me. Oh my <em> God </em>, I am horrible. She’s so wonderful, I shouldn’t be doing this to her.”</p><p>Rafa’s mouth opens, but before he can say anything, Roger continues.</p><p>“I used to think people who rushed into marriage were stupid, now I’m one of those people. I think she knows something is wrong too, she’s always asking me if I’m okay and I have to lie directly to her. It’s killing me, Raf. I know the responsible thing to do is to tell her, but she’ll hate me, despise me.”</p><p>“I think you should tell her,” Rafa says, “is the right thing to do.”</p><p>Roger nods, “There’s something else, though.”</p><p>There’s a thick, overwhelming tension in the air as Rafa nods for Roger to continue.</p><p>“I’m in love with someone else,” Roger whispers, looking down at his lap. A cold wave of shame drowns Roger, he’s unable to look Rafa in the eyes. Roger can only cling to hope that his feelings are more hidden than he believes. He looks up at Rafa.</p><p>Rafa sighs, his face is unreadable, which is killing Roger. Rafa’s gaze meets Roger’s, and—despite it all—Roger feels at home. The Spaniard closes his eyes and rubs his forehead.</p><p>Roger feels like falling apart on the spot like a spool of thread unraveling quicker and quicker until there is nothing left.</p><p>“You full of surprises, Rogi,” Rafa says, voice vaguely fond.</p><p>Roger smiles, hoping Rafa didn’t immediately figure him out.</p><p>“If you no love her <em> and </em>love someone else you need to tell Mirka,” Rafa says, “cannot avoid bad things to happen. Hearts going to be broken, there going to be relationships that never be fixed completely, but… if is what makes you happy, then go for it.”</p><p>Roger smiles despite the weight in his heart and the storm in his stomach.</p><p> </p><p>Rafa asks, “Who do you love?”</p><p>Roger freezes, feeling like a butterfly caught in a net. Panic shoots through Roger’s body, and in a split second, Rafa seems to realize what Roger’s always known. There’s a heavy silence hanging in the air, both parties afraid of what it means.</p><p>Rafa asks, voice even, “Who do you love?”</p><p>Despite himself, Roger admits, “I love you.”</p><p>Their eyes are locked, their hearts drumming to the same beat. Roger is unsure of what comes next, the thought of rejection too agonizing to think about even for a moment. There’s a stillness in the room like even the wind was afraid of making noise.</p><p>“I love you too,” Rafa says.</p><p>“You do?” Roger asks, hope sparks in his chest like the beginning of a fire.</p><p>Rafa nods, “I always love you, but it…is never the right time, then all of sudden, you getting married already.”</p><p>“Not anymore,” Roger says, “I’m not getting married now.”</p><p>“Roger,” Rafa says, “you about to leave your <em> fiance</em>, that’s a big deal. You cannot jump away from that to me.”</p><p>“I want to,” Roger says, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my life.”</p><p>Rafa smiles, his dark brown eyes overflowing with joy. The smile in the man’s face is a work of art, Roger is sure. Roger is drawn to the man like a magnet, slowly approaching him, placing a hand on his chest. Rafa does nothing to stop what comes next.</p><p>Roger wraps his arms around Rafa’s neck, pulling the elder man down into a kiss. It’s soft and gentle. Explorative on both ends; each of them trying to meet each other in the middle. There’s a lightness in the air, like the feeling of butterflies swirling and dancing in the summer air. Roger feels free. It’s the feeling you get when you drop a weight, or when a storm reaches its peaceful end.</p><p>They pull away from each other slowly. If they had it their way, they would be glued together till the end of time.</p><p>“This is wrong,” Roger whispers. They’re so close together that Rafa can feel Roger’s soft breath against his skin. It sends electric pleasure through him.</p><p>Rafa nods, “<em>Sí</em>…”</p><p>Roger looks into Rafa’s gaze, the man’s eyes are full of want and passion. There’s a wildfire in Roger’s heart, untamed and out of control, but so beautiful. And Roger <em> wants </em> . He <em> wants </em>more than he’s ever wanted in his life. So, Roger takes, pulling Rafa back into another kiss. </p><p>Rafa reciprocates eagerly like Roger is his lifeline. The wildfire of want burns brightly in Roger, making him lose all rational thought. If there was one time Roger could say ‘fuck you’ to morals it was now. Roger pulls away, looking into Rafa’s hungry gaze.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Roger says, breathless and needy.</p><p>Rafa asks, “Go where?”</p><p>“Anywhere with you,” Roger says, “anywhere as long as I’m with you.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i think this ended up being too cheesy? let me know what you think! my asks are open for more prompts :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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